I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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