I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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