Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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