This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i think i just lost a toe
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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