I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
