I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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