Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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