I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
