I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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