I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
