dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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