Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
