so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
