He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
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nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
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Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
as a side note pls kill me
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize