pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
