I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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