I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize