We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
