do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
