You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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