Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
jump out the window naked night went bad
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