That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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