Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dicks are not precious.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
