we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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