my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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