in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize