do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
