its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
