if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
