Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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