I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize