I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just google imaged poop.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize
