Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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