you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
