Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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