Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize