Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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