I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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