the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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