I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
