My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My vagina is officially offended.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
