rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
