the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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