yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize