she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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