This girl is more easily done than said...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
