I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I checked into jail on foursquare
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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