The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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