Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
