He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
