Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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