I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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