Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize