Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
