Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
