somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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