dude i'm inner monologue high
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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