He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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